Submitting Your Work

Q. What's the difference between publishers and terrorists?
A. You can negotiate with terrorists.

The notion of approaching a publisher, agent, magazine, production company, editor, etc, with your completed masterpiece is, perhaps, still rooted in fantasy rather than reality, but in preparation for the dawning of that glorious day let’s look at the various ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ of the submission process. Much of the advice given below should be glaringly obvious - but it’s truly dispiriting how many otherwise sensible and competent authors make a complete pig’s petit déjeuner of sending out their work.

Make absolutely certain that your MS is well presented. Never under-estimate the value and importance of high quality presentation. You won’t be there to excuse the clapped-out printer ribbon (why aren’t you using an inkjet or laser?) or toilet tissue style paper – not that it would do you much good if you were. Agents/publishers/editors and their ilk are, believe it or not, human and when selecting their next MS for appraisal they are very likely to choose the neat, clean script over the one which is grubby, dog-eared and printed in too florid and faint a font on cheap semi-transparent paper which shows the ghost of the page beneath. Cast an honest and critical eye over your MS before consigning it to its Jiffy Bag - and if you can see any room for improvement, improve it.

Try and avoid sending submissions to agents or publishers at the busiest times of the year. The fortnight pre and post Christmas is bad timing. September is usually a busy period too. The week after a bank holiday or other seasonal break, eg, Easter is simillarly a peak time for submissions. Wait a few weeks and avoid the crowd.

It goes without saying - or should - that no one’s going to consider a hand-written MS (although these still get sent in); even work produced on a typewriter is often frowned upon in the age of the ubiquitous (and increasingly cheap) personal computer. So, make sure that your novel/short story/play is word processed, immaculately printed on one side of the paper - A4 - only, and free of all blemishes in terms of corrections, spelling errors and other grammatical atrocities. Don’t rely on the spell check to catch, and correct, your mistakes; they are notoriously unreliable - and idiosyncratic. To jog swiftly through the basics:

Include a title page at both the front and back of your MS.

Include all your personal details – name, address, email address etc. Repeat this information at the back. Front pages have a habit of becoming detached.

Number all pages sequentially. Don’t begin again with ‘1’ at the start of each new chapter/section/scene. (It happens.)

Use double spacing and leave generous margins – this includes the top and bottom of each page.

Justify text on the left hand side only and don’t use line spaces between paragraphs. Indent the first line of each new paragraph.

Be consistent in your spelling and layout, ie, chapter/scene headings, etc.

Enclose sufficient return postage together with an envelope big enough (and strong enough) to hold your MS if, and when, it’s returned.

Don’t bind your pages in such a way that it makes your work difficult, or impossible, to read. It’s perfectly permissible to send it as loose sheets providing they are adequately boxed. In the case of a novel, many readers prefer to deal with a chapter or a section at a time rather than lugging around the entire 500 page beastie.

Always keep several copies of your novel, screenplay, etc, even if they’re only ‘electronic’ ones. Given the huge numbers of manuscripts which get submitted to agents, publishers and others on a daily basis losses/calamities are not unknown. I once had an MS of mine accidentally pulped. (Or maybe it was a particularly brutal form of criticism.) You should keep at least one copy ‘off-site’ – at work or with a friend - on CD-ROM, Zip Disk, flash drive (memory stick) or similar in case burglars pay you a visit, a mugger makes off with your laptop, or your humble abode spontaneously combusts reducing its treasured contents to ash. Hard drives can fail, vapourising your precious files; don’t make the mistake of keeping the only copy (or copies) of your work stored on your Mac/PC. Of course you wouldn’t be so stupid, but then neither would those friends, and others, whose tears I’ve had to mop up.

If you’re submitting a film, TV, radio script or stage play do ensure that it’s correctly formatted. It’s extremely easy to come unstuck here and end up looking – well – a bit of an arse. There are numerous textbooks and my own handouts (see above) which can help you with this and so ignorance is no excuse. Devote as much time as necessary to learning the ‘grammar’ of your chosen medium until formatting your work becomes second nature. The BBC very thoughtfully provide guidelines on writing for TV, film and radio. These can be downloaded at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/

You’ll find the above site very useful for accessing many other writing-related features/issues: interviews, competitions, etc. A message-board facility allows you to communicate with, and seek advice from, other writers. Visit the writersroom regularly to keep abreast of what’s happening for writers in the wacky world of the Beeb, and in the larger, saner world too.

The internet is a great place to explore if you’re looking for filmscripts to study, both from a technical and a ‘literary’ point of view. Try www.script-o-rama.com which has been around for over ten years and boasts that it has the largest collection of free screenplays on the net. Screenplay 451 (www.pumpkinsoft.de/screenplay451/) offers fewer scripts than Drew’s Script-o-Rama but their screenplays have the advantage of being properly formatted, zipped and ready to download as Word documents. These are just two of many sites you can visit (Google ‘free screenplays’). Make sure, though, that your browsing doesn’t become a substitute for writing your own script! (see above)

It’s possible to purchase (expensive) software which takes the drudgery out of formatting your script, leaving you to concentrate on the creative aspects of screenwriting. Final Draft (available for both Mac and PC) is the package favoured by the majority of screenwriters. Movie Magic Screenwriter is another popular package (again available for both Mac and PC). It’s possible to download demos of both to ascertain whether you can’t live without one or the other. Final Draft is lovely(ish), but for the less wealthy an ordinary word processing program can be easily ‘tweaked’ to provide you with a professional looking layout. Mac users should definitely take a look at Montage which is designed to be a Final Draft killer – certainly the GUI is much prettier and more 21st century than FD’s, which is why I’ve recently moved over to it. I’ve discovered there’s a free screenwriting program available called, rather puzzlingly and uninspiringly, Celtx. You can download it at www.celtx.com The software is available for Mac OS9 and OSX, and Windows (yuk!) I’ve installed it onto my iBook and, despite being unable to import work into either Word or Final Draft, Celtx seems well behaved. Give it a go. It’s a worthy Montage/Final Draft substitute for the financially challenged.

Whilst on the subject of writing software, it might be worth my taking a sentence or three to draw your attention to a few programs designed with the ‘creative’ writer in mind. Strange though it may seem your everyday word processing program may not be ideal for creating an extended piece of work, a novel say, where you’ll not only need to process words but ideas and notes/research related to your book. I’m a great believer in making life as easy as possible for myself and have recently been road-testing several programs aimed at the novelist. I’ve no idea whether there are Windows (double yuk!!) versions available, but those eminently sensible folk running a Mac might like to try CopyWrite, Jer’s Novel Writer, Avenir, Mellel, Scrivener, or Ulysses. My personal favourites are Avenir and Mellel. Before you accuse me of anti-Windows bias let me say a few words regarding a PC only package called New Novelist (www.newnovelist.com). If you’re an inveterate plotter ‘n’ planner and want every single episode/event which comprises your novel mapped out in advance in coma-inducing detail, New Novelist is likely to result in love at first byte. Fire it up, go and make a cup of coffee, come back and find your book written. It’ll even drop off the manuscript at the publishers on its way home. (I jest, just in case you were wondering.) I’ve only heard third-hand reports of its effectiveness, so can’t comment further. It’s available to purchase from the site, and can also be obtained in our local Waterstones (at around £30), so check it out next time you pop in. Whilst I’d personally avoid such software like a rabid Rottweiler on a licorice leash, you might well find NN a gift from the literary gods. Remember, though, however helpful the above software may prove, the hard, painful slog element still remains.

The rules governing pristine presentation apply unilaterally. Your screenplay, stage play, radio drama, short story, sonnet sequence, etc, must conform to the above if they are to have the greatest chance of success.

With a novel, whether you opt for the agent or publisher route is pretty much down to personal choice. The bulk of the advice given below applies equally to your dealings with publishers. If you’re writing within a specific genre, ie, science fiction, crime or erotica, it’s a fairly easy and painless business to identify which publishers are seeking such manuscripts and you might choose to approach them direct. This could save you time – and the agent’s commission! If your MS falls into the category of literary or commercial fiction which is handled by dozens of different publishers, it’s probably wise to try and secure an agent who will be in a much stronger position that your good self when it comes to determining what’s currently happening in the literary marketplace - and to persuading publishers to part with their cash. Few publishers are prepared to read an unsolicited MS in any case, particularly one from a first time novelist which is likely to require a fair amount of editorial work before it’s in a fit condition to pass onto the next stage of the publishing process. Agents view the editing of your MS as part of their remit. It’s one of the reasons they take a percentage of monies earned. The fact that many modern novels read as though they’ve bypassed any form of editorial input is another matter entirely.

If the idea of actually going out and selling your work is wholly repugnant and you would much rather concentrate your energies on your writing, an agent can be a godsend in that they will act as a ‘cushion’ between you, with your delicate artistic sensibilities, and the hard-nosed commercial word of publishing which wants to pump you full of the steroids of fame and wealth and treat you like a piece of literary ‘rough trade’. (Oh yes, please!)

You should do at least some basic research before sending out your work. ‘Basic’ does not mean sticking a pin in a list of likely agents, publishers, theatre companies, etc and contacting the one which falls under the point. Ring, or email, a few possibles and describe - briefly - the kind of novel/play/whatever you’ve written. The person on the other end should be able to tell you whether there’s anyone there who might be interested in looking at your work. Once you’ve been given the ‘green light, you need to consider how best to initiate contact with the person concerned. The ‘ideal’ novelists package, according to Carole Blake would consist of the following elements:

a brief blurb (no more than a couple of paragraphs)
biographies of your main characters (a paragraph or two on each)
a synopsis of the entire novel (ten pages max)
the opening two/three chapters
an author biography (one page)

It is possible to deviate from the above, although the author biography and sample chapters are essential. Remember, there’s more than one way of separating a feline from its epidermis. I would also argue that it’s equally essential to have your entire novel written (if only in first draft form) before you seek out a publisher/agent. Although there are (usually apocryphal) stories circulating of authors receiving a million pound advance on the strength of their opening sentence, the majority of agents/publishers will expect you to have finished your novel when you make contact, and it’s probably not a good idea to ask them to wait for a further nine months while you write chapters 3–33. It’s equally bad for your writing too. The bottom line is that you don’t know if you’re capable of writing a novel until you’ve actually written one. The world is full of aborted novels.

A word of warning which applies to every type of submission, each of which will need some accompanying documentation. Don’t include irrelevant (or irreverent) information in your biography. The fact that you won an essay prize at junior school (‘My Pet Bunny, Sniffy’), had a poem (‘Spring Tints’) published in the Carnforth Echo in 1973, or wrote a one act farce (‘Vicar, Where Are Your Trousers?’) which was performed by your immediate family is of no interest whatsoever – and may count against you. The person concerned wants to know anything that’s relevant to your work which will help them make a decision as to whether to take you on - and which will make the selling of your book, screenplay, etc easier. (If, for example, your novel or film script’s central theme deals with sexual harassment is it based upon your own personal experiences or those of someone close to you?) Think long, and hard, about what to include - and exclude - from your ‘CV’.

The submission letter which will neatly, and beautifully, ‘wrap’ the above goodies can prove extremely difficult to compose. It’s very easy to ‘blow’ the whole deal on a letter which strikes the wrong note. Remember, you’ll be communicating with someone who has very little free time at their disposal, and who has heard all those embarrassing self-panegyrics a thousand times before. Resist the temptation to lapse into the comic or facetious as a means of standing out from the crowd. Don’t be overly obsequious either – and take great care not to come across as either bombastic or barking mad. BE PROFESSIONAL. (Have these two words tattooed on the inside of your eyelids.) Anything less will mark you out as a slightly dodgy and unworldly amateur, a figure unlikely to appeal to anyone in the business – they are never that desperate; it’s always a buyer’s market.

People working in the profession who’s job it is to assess your work are very aware that writing, by it’s very personal and intimate nature, is frequently taken up by those who, to put it politely, are a chapter short of a novel (or a scene short of a screenplay). Sad, certainly, but all too true. Don’t come across as one of these poor souls in your first contact with an agent, publisher or producer who has expressed a tentative interest in you and your work.

Back, briefly, to the novel. This seems like a good point to tackle the vexatious question of multiple submissions. Should you, or shouldn’t you? Just how promiscuous can you be? In the past such a practice was seen as being on par with breaking wind at the dinner table, and, despite its being common in the States (no, not breaking wind at the dinner table), there are still a number of agents/publishers over here who won’t read material if it’s currently being offered elsewhere. Try and see the situation from their point of view and it’s not too difficult to understand, or at least empathise with, their feelings on the subject. No one wants to spend time in speculative reading whilst being in enforced competition with another agent or agents. Multiple submissions will not force an agent to reach a decision on your MS any sooner, nor will the idea that your novel is also being read by X,Y and Z make a publisher more likely to snap you up rather than risk loosing you to a rival. Although the idea of multiple submissions is increasingly being seen as a fact of life, it’s still best to check the firm in question’s policy on this during your initial approach - or, if you’ve already gone ahead and done it (tch tch!), it’s both desirable, and courteous, to mention this fact as soon as possible. If you are lucky enough to receive a favourable reply from an agent/publisher requesting either the completed MS or a meeting to discuss your work, you must let the other interested parties know what’s happening. Again, always strive to be professional.

Agents and publishers are looking for genuine writers, authors who are capable of establishing a long-term career from their craft. You may not become profitable until the publication of your third or fourth book. They want to ‘sign up’ individuals who write with enthusiasm and conviction and abstain from cheap ‘look at me!’ gimmicks. They need to feel immediately involved with both your characters and your story, and gain from your MS the firm assurance that you handle your material deftly and can sustain the story for the duration of a novel. A great many promising first-time novels – and screen and stage plays - collapse in an undignified heap at around the half-way mark when the initial euphoria of composition has waned and realisation dawns that the task is much more difficult and demanding than first envisaged and the material begins to escape the author’s control.

If you find your work rejected by those whom you’ve approached, don’t give up. Rejection is an inevitable consequence of attempting to sell your work; it happens to everybody. Don’t take it personally. You’ve put your heart and soul into your novel, etc (or damned well should have), but to the reader it’s just another submission. When that nasty rejection letter arrives have another copy of your screenplay, whatever ready to go out again immediately. The professional writer is the amateur who didn’t give up. Dealing positively with rejection is just one of a number of things which separate the real writer from the dilettante, ie, the person who wants to write but doesn’t want it enough to face the sheer bloody hard work and trauma that’s necessary to see a project through to completion and ultimately succeed in the business – a species more common than headlice!

The writer who achieves instant success is rarer than a Tory politician with a sense of humour. Instant success can be a double edged sword as writers like Ian McEwan (and Norman Mailer) have attested. The pressure to repeat the ‘trick’ is enormous and often damaging to future work. In the same way that it’s perfectly possible to hit the bull’s eye the first time you pick up a bow and arrow, the chances of your doing so again with your next shot are not high. Practice, however, will greatly increase the number of golds you achieve. Enough of the toxophilite metaphors!

Give serious thought to any criticism you’ve received. Do the same comments recur, pointing to issues which need addressing: poor characterisation, unconvincing dialogue, weak structure, etc? Those in the business will often give encouragement and offer advice if they feel your work merits more than the usual brief, though polite, refusal. However, badgering an agent, producer, etc for an in-depth analysis of your novel/script and their reasons for declining it is not a good idea – in fact it’s a very bad idea. Accept the rejection, learn from it and move on.

Due to the ceaseless flood of manuscripts which deluge agents, publishers and the like, a substantial portion of material will be rejected without its being read in its entirety, or poured over so that each and every subtle nuance is identified and savoured. This is an immutable fact of publishing/media life. You, the author, are powerless to change, or influence, this situation. Writing, like life, is a perpetual shit storm where the umbrella hasn’t yet been invented. Any writer worthy of the title will be more than happy to venture out doors and take everything the elements throw at her/him without complaint. Good, even brilliant, work is, unfortunately, not always recognised as such - and a great deal of seriously shite writing somehow finds its way into print/performance. As a reviewer I see ample evidence of this on an almost daily basis. I’ll give Carole Blake the final word on this painful subject: ‘There will always be many more people writing than can be published.’

[A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell. She decided to check out each place first. As she descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a vast steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes. ‘Oh my,’ said the writer. ‘Let me see heaven now.’ A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a vast steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were whipped with thorny lashes. ‘Wait a minute,’ said the writer. ‘This is just as bad as hell!’ ‘Oh no, it's not,’ replied an unseen voice. ‘Here, your work gets published.’]